Kingdom Hearts Chronicles
by The Funny One
Summary: After getting sucked into her copy of the game, Lyra Rodgers must go on a big world tour and find the door of light, herself as Sora, and find her best frined, who also got sucked in rated T for cursing and fourth wall breaking.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

WARNIG: This is based off the manga more because I'm not even _half_ way on my copy of the game. You've been warned.

Plus, if you HATE Kairi, this fan fiction is for you!

"Yes! YES! I have defeated you fiendish one! Never again shall I bother with your darkness!!!...Until I start a new game. Then you can go on and try to kill me again, and I will defeat you again!"

"Knock it off." Lyra Rodgers said, pushing her best friend back onto the couch.

It was any other Saturday night and Lyra and Katie Ashton were playing Kingdom Hearts for the 10th time.

Katie healed the PS2 controller in satiation. She had just beaten the game. Again. "You know it really makes you wonder… what's the point in KH3?" She asked. Katie had red hair that looked like those wigs you can buy during Halloween but color was like a phoenix, brown eyes and wore a brown shirt and camouflage pants.

"I have no idea my friend." Lyra replied. She had silver hair that was styled a lot like Olette's, and eye's were something called _**heterochromia,**_ which isa difference in coloration, usually of the irises but also of hair or skin eyes that had blue iris with a brown section, and wore a white shirt with a silver cross; print and paint spotted jeans.

"I mean they made it back to the islands… maybe we should of watched the _entire _KH2 ending…" Katie said.

"That's not proper English." Lyra replied.

"Who cares!?"

"_You're about to find out…_" Katie… sneezed.

"Did you say something?" Lyra asked.

"Yeah. Achoo."

Suddenly, the TV made a strange noise. Static noise. ODD noise. The girls looked at the TV for a few moments. All was quiet. And as they watched the TV, it started to…swirl.

"Dude." Katie said. "That is _awesome_! A bonus feature!"

"Katie, we've played this game 12 times!" Lyra said.

"10."

"Oh. Well, there's still not a bonus feature!"

A strong wind picked up and the two friends got stuck in it.

"Lyra!" Katie shouted, extending her arm to her friend. Lyra looked at her and frantically tried to grab her hand, but missed. But it wouldn't have mattered anyway as the two were pulled into the television.

Lyra fell downward into a spiraling blackness. The light of the world above her spiraled away and she fell. Last thing she heard was "I've been having these weird thoughts lately…"

_Really, I didn't know that. _

"…Like is any of this for real, or not?"

_Who know? Maybe yeah, maybe not. WOOH! _

A/N: Hiya! Well, before we move on, I just want to say that Katie and Lyra are just really good friends. So don't start any relationships like the Hermione/Ginny thing. WHO AFFORISED THAT ANYWAY GOD DAMN IT1?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?! Oh yeah, and Lyra is Lee-ra, like in _The Golden Compass._


	2. Chapter 2 AGAIN!

_We now present to you... _

(Pitiful attemps of fanfare)

KINGDOM HEARTS CHORNICALS!!! 8D

This chapter brought to you by:

Destiny Islands, Athuress hacker studios, Lazy bum productions and...everyone else!

I'm still waiting for a rewiew, since I think its right if I know someone is out there reading it, but incase you don't know how my rewiews work, here's a rundown!

I won't post another chappie until you review (this is an exeption) You can ask questions and I will answer them! DON'T GIVE ME FLAMES OR I _WILL _CHOP YOUR COMPUTER UP WITH A KEYBLADE LIKE MY GOOD FRIEN ROXAS DID HERE!

And the only reason I'm doing it off the manga is because (sheds tear) I'm only in...Wonderland. Yeah. And My brother is in Monstero. We've been hoocked on Luigi's Masion. So yeah, you figure it out. And the only differnce from the manga is that one has Halloween Town (Nightmare before Christmas) and Deep Jungle (Tarzan) My two least favorite worlds.

Now we go on Lyra's POV. But first, a little info:

Lyra Rodgers: Sora (Keyblade master, proganist)

Katie Ashton: Kairi (Girl of mysterious origins)

Riku: Riku (Original Keyblade Master)

Donald Duck: Donald Duck (AI controled character)

Goofy: Goofy (AI controled character)

Everyone else: Themselves. (Too many to list.)

So now, without further interuption, KINGDOM HEARTS CHRONICALS!

Chapter 1: Teh intro.

SHIT!

I stood there, not knowing what the _hell _was going on. The sun shone in my eye and I saw some dude out in the ocean. A wave was coming over him. "Uh guy, you're about to die? Hello?"

I looked forward. It was Riku.

_Was I stuck in the game? __…guess so. _

"In the game's… OMG!!" The thought struck me like… (Insert flashbacks) like a lot of things. Riku turned around and stuck his arm out like he always does in the intro. "TIME TO DIE!!!" I shouted. I ran towards him and the wave engulfed us.

Yup, I was in the intro. Riku still had his arm out. Translation: "You can't do this to me you emo bastard! I'm the main character! STOP HOGGING MY SPOTLIGHT!!!" And I blew off.

I floated out more in ocean, around sunset. The million times I've played the game and I _still_ don't get that part! Jesus! Simple and Clean, that song that normally plays during the intro, played, but in chipmunk (to those that are not familiar with chipmunk style, it is the song played fast) style playing. _AWESOME_. Kairi stood on the islands, calling out. "Well ok then." I said and ran up. Kairi changed to Katie like in a flash of light. I do _sooo_ not remember that happening in the game. She did the Kairi smile thing. She then gasped and pointed up. Obviously they couldn't talk like I could.

"UP IN THE SKY! IT'S A BIRD! IT'S A PLANE! IT'S So-" It'd be fun to skydive. I just realized that. I looked at Sora slowly changing into me. "Me." The chipmunk went away and then it went to slow as I fell. If I recall correctly, the colors were changing too. I finally landed and the music went back to normal. I felt the blood rush to my head and I looked up.

_Figures. _

I WAS UPSIDE DOWN!!! WILL THIS CRAZY INTRO NEVER END!?

I took a step forward. The screen flipped back over as the birds came flying around. "AW GOD MY EYES!" The birds would make really good chicken…

I felt that it was going to be the Snow white thing. I was wrong. Instead, it did the one of Sora in the KH2 intro. "WRONG INTRO IDOIT!!!!" I shouted.

By now in the game they'd be telling me the basics. Since I was _in_ the game, they skipped to the sword, shield, and staff picking thing. "Ok wonder what I'm gonna pick MAYBE THE SWORD!? THE SWORD?!" I ended up picking that and discarding the shield, since I was pretty agile and could dodge a lot of attacks.

The Sora thing crashed and I ended up on another one, a blue one with… oh me! "Oh look, little Heartless." I looked at the black creature and it made the 'ar ar ar ar' noise like a dog. "What the hell was that?!" Then… Dark…whats-its-name came out of nowhere… I got it! …now I lost it… oh yeah! Darkside! It's called Darkside!

"Heywohhoyeah Hey…" It said.

"RIIIIIIIIIGHT… TIME TO DIE!!!" I said, putting on an attack face (which looked stupid) and killed the giant thing. "Well that was easy." I said.

"_Sora! Wake up! This is God! Stop being a moron! And I'm sorry you're feet are big..." _

WRONG PEROSN IDOIT! sighs Weird…

A/N: Wow this intro has a lot of cursing. Sorry! You would curse if you were in a video game... aw come on it was funny!

OLD COPY APPOLIGY:

Wow! I wasn't expecting _that _to happen! I'm sorry! This is my first fic and I'm not very good at posting! So I delete Proulouge when I get chappie 2... does that make sense!? I think! This would make so much sense if I had a review person to help me (bats eyelashes(hint hint))


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2: Destiny Islands.

A/N: I'm a little sad to admit that my sister is the only one that reviwed me. Plus I have no idea how many hits I got before my two default chapters. But time for the disclaimer! With speacial guest star: Puppylovergirlie!

Me: Hi.

Puppylovergirlie: Hi.

Me: Blah blah.

Plg: Blah blah blah.

Me: Ok, let's get down to buisness. I don't own Kindom Hearts, not even my own copy of the game.

Plg: Sad isn't it?

Me: Now what do we do...

Plg: Ice cream. Duh.

Me:YES!!!

Chapter 2: Destiny Islands

My eyes slowly opened. I sat up, my throat dry. "Urg. What the hell happened to me?" I yawned, laid back down and saw I saw Katie STANDING in behind me.

"Hello there." She said in a fake British accent.

"What the hell?" I sat back up. "Katie! Why are you wearing a skirt? And what happened to your voice?"

She had a design change and was now wearing a sleeveless grey shirt and a yellow/green and black plaid skirt. The only design change I had was that they were now two long traveling gloves, on black with pink at the fingers, the other one reversed. No fair.

"Silly girl I always sounded like this." Katie replied. "Right?"

"No. You haven't, since this is the first time I ever heard you in that-ow." She hit me. That hit made me realize where the _hell_ I was. "OH MY GOD! DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE ARE!?"

She didn't ever look around. "Where?"

"DESTINY ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled really loud. I looked out in the ocean. "Could this be like a dream?" "Yes." Katie replied, walking out towards the ocean. "Well if it is, then why did I feel you hitting me?"

"That's simple… 'Cause you are an idiot!

"Really?"

"No."

"Maybe I'm just acting stupid." Obviously Katie had been up for a while and gotten used to it.

_Ok I think I get it. Somehow I have ended up in Kingdom hearts. Rafts can't take us into different worlds, they're round! Riku thinks we've been here all our lives. ALL GUYS IN THIS GAME HAE SPIKY HAIR! What gives?_

"Oh my God." I said.

"What?"

"WE'VE BEEN SUCKED INTO KINGDOM HEARTS!!!!" I yelled. "Well I'm serious! I dreamt the whole intro and Kairi changed into you and Sora change into me!"

"We at least you're made sense. Mine was the opening of the KH musical with me instead of Kairi." "Oh you mean with the-"

"Yup."

"And the-"

"Exactly."

"Oh yeah and don't forget the-"

"I know!"

"I wish we ended up in twilight town,"

"I know... why do you want to be there instead?"

"I wanted to try sea-salt ice-cream!!!!"

Riku then came out of nowhere, holding a log. "Hey-you-two. Help me with the raft." He said. He threw the log at me as he passed and walked over to Katie.

"Ah!" I said as the log came on me.

"Let's have crumpets! Crumpets crumpets!" Katie said.

"Well, I'm kinda glad Katie got her voice back. It was getting annoying, don't you think?" I asked.

"Hells yeah." Riku replied, his somewhat normal voice. "You know, I think we've been on this island for way too long. One of these days I'm gonna turn totally dark and turn against you."

_(insert pitiful attempts of record scratch here. _Author: Which sounds like a cat) "Nah I'm just kidding. But if you got a weird key shaped sword I'd steal it from you."

"...I see."

"I don't think that's gonna happen Riku." Katie said, sounding a little nerves. I looked at her and nodded.

"Well, it might be fun seeing other places." I said. "Wait, there _are _other places, right? I'm getting bored here."

"…Let's have crumpets!"

HOW'D I KNOW THE DAMN CRUMPETS WOULD COME BACK IN THE END?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

Riku left, leaving Katie and I together.

"Where we gonna stay?" I asked.

"Hmm… ...Sora's?.. not that won't work… Riku's?... Sand?... Uh...secret place?"

"THAT'LL WORK!"

"OH KAY!" We both hopped off.

"I just realized something."

"What?"

"None of us had dinner..."

"Uh, erm…"

"See! This is way I wanted to go to Twilight town!"

A/N: What happened after the disclaimer...

Puppylovergirlie: Wow, I can't remember when I had so much fun. Ice cream or die!!!

Becky (AC): I think you had to much Authoress.

Me: I'll tell you (burp) when I had enough.

Lizzie: I'll tell you when I had enough curse your paper hats. (some enployee gives her more ice cream) If I wanna blitz myself in a choclate chip illusion, that's my own fault. (takes a bite then sees Puppylovergirlie.) Puppylovergirlie: Hello!

Lizzie: (spits ice cream at the random enployee)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3: Destiny Islands part 2. A/N: Something I threw together at the last second… ENJOY!

_On the last episode of Kingdom Hearts Chronicals… _

_(chipmunk) _

_"__Urg. What the hell happened to me?" _

_"Hello there." _

_"What the hell? Katie! Why are you wearing a skirt? And what happened to your voice?" _

_"Silly girl I always sounded like this. Right?" _

_"No. You haven't, since this is the first time I ever heard you in that-ow. __OH MY GOD! DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE ARE!?"_

_"Where?"_ _"__DESTINY__ISLAND__Maybe I'm just acting stupid." _

_"Oh my God." _

_"What?" _

_"WE'VE BEEN SUCKED INTO KINGDOM HEARTS!!!!" __"_

_I wish we ended up in twilight town,"_

_"I know... why do you want to be there instead?"_

_"I wanted to try sea-salt ice-cream!!!!"_

_"__Hey-you-two. Help me with the raft." _

_"Ah!" _

_"Let's have crumpets! Crumpets crumpets!" _

_"Well, I'm kinda glad Katie got her voice back. It was getting annoying, don't you think?" _

_"Hells yeah. You know, I think we've been on this island for way too long. One of these days I'm gonna turn totally dark and turn against you. __Nah I'm just kidding. But if you got a weird key shaped sword I'd steal it from you." _

_"I don't think that's gonna happen Riku" _

_"Well, it might be fun seeing other places .Wait, there are other places, right? I'm getting bored here." _

_"__Where we gonna stay?" _

_"Hmm… ...Sora's?.. not that won't work… Riku's?... Sand?... Uh...secret place?" _

_"THAT'LL WORK!" _

_"OH KAY!" _(regular)

"Hello." The younger Selphie Tilmitt said. "Um I know I wasn't suppose to appear in this one, but I just have a question. How do you get your hair that way? I use a curling iron. If, you know what I mean."

(Everyone:jaw dropped, WTF faces. Lyra: Selphie scares me. Everyone: nods slowly.)

"Hey man."

"Hey… Wakka."

"Hey man."

"Yeah you said that."

"Hey-"

"No."

"Hey-"

"DON'T DO IT! Alright."

"Hey man."

Oh, now I'm in a secret place. I looked at the walls, which were mostly covered in pictures and stuff saying things like "Tifa Lockhart is turning into Michael Jackson", "Skittles and Mms look the same but taste different." "Cheese" "WTF" "X+216" "Pie" (A/N: I have a whole lot of these on my profile.) "Time waits for no man unless he is from "Clockstoppers." I picked up a rock and banging on the wall a few times, I finnaly got in large letters **KINGDOM HEARTS. **Thinking, I added a crown on top of the letters.

"_This world has been connected."_

"Uh, what the hell?" I asked.

"_Tied to the darkness. Soon to be completely eclipse._"

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"_There is so very much to learn. You understand so little._"

"Did- Did you just call me stupid. No, I'll go, and learn what's out there."

"A meaningless effort. One that knows nothing can understand nothing."

"You did just call me stupid! But I'm the only one who has played Kingdom hearts here; they don't have a clue where they are! They're probably frantically screaming while running around in circles somewhere!"

_"Uh ah, you're right." _

"Thank you."

"_But you're wrong about everything else._"

CENSORED! (p'wn!)

A/N: This chapter was short, I know. Most of it was flashbacks. REVIEW AND I'LL GIVE YOU MORE!!!!! And the irony of 'Ansem' calling Lyra stupid, it's that she kinda is, in a weird funny way.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: (WEll really chapter 4 if you think about it. I have my numbering way off!) INVASION!

A/N: OMFG 102 HITS!!! THAT'S FREAKING AWESOME GUYS!!! I WANNA BUY ALL OF YOU ICE CREAM!!!! But instead, another chapter!

"Straight in diamonds. Read it and weep." I said.

"ARRGH!"

Katie and I were playing poker, and I was totally kicking her ass.

"You know I could get used to this. Fighting FF people, beating you in Poker…" Katie looked outside the window.

"Aw snap! I think I'm starting to see things!" I looked out.

"We've played the game 12-"

"10."

"10 times and you haven't noticed that?"

"…No." "

Uh where's that music coming from?"

"What, what music?"

(_pitiful attempts of record secreting noise again._)

"You know what, never mind."

We both ran outside, though I don't know where Katie went, since when I ran out she wasn't with me. Then three heartless came out of nowhere. At this time when I was normally playing I would put on my stupid annoying attack face and kill them… but I had nothing so

"OH CRAP!!!" I ran over to where Riku was and saw the thing. "Wow. Maybe she's not seeing things." I said.

"Looks squishy…" Riku said.

"Yeah. I wonder what happens when you poke it wait what am I saying?"

"Come! Let's get crazy together!" Riku stuck out his arm.

"Uh no." I replied, looking at his feet. There was this weird purple and black thing.

"Aw damn it to hell!" I shouted. I ran up to pull him out, but it just got stuck in my shoes. "AH! AAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! OH GOD! OH NO! OH DEAR! AW COME ON! I'VE NEVER DISOBEYED MY MOTHER, AND I'VE EATEN ALL MY SNACKS AT SNACK TIME EVEN THE FRUIT!" (Author: That takes guts. Lyra: I was lying through my teeth) And we died.

_No. I won't get crazy like Riku. I won't. Ok that sounded cheesy… _

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSWING!

I appeared back where that thing was, Keyblade in hand. "All right!"

"Keyblade…" A voice said "Keyblade…" It got louder. "KEYBLADE! URRG!"

I ran towards the secret place and saw Katie standing in front of the door.

"CRUMPETS…" She said in slow motion. And when she does that, you know something is bad…

"KATIE!!!" We did that thing that Sora and Kairi normally do in this part and a strong wind blew me out.

Ah WWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OW.

I landed and got up. Darkside was right behind me.

"Ok, what do I do now?" Out of nowhere, Obi Wan appeared on my shoulder.

"You must slay the beast by using you're great swordsman skills." He said, taking out a lightsaver.

"With the keyblade I got like five minutes ago? Screw you! What do you think I should do Harry?" Then Harry Potter went on my other shoulder.

"What you must do is conjure an immense light on this foul creature." He said.

"Lumos.LUMOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Never mind." I just started fighting it and eventually killed it but it didn't matter anyway since the island exploded. (Harry: Or you can just do that. Well I guess my work is done. Obi: But you didn't do anything. Harry: I did more that you. HHMP! I'm gonna go play Quitidge. Lyra: That's not how you spell it. Author: D'oh!)

"ANTIE EM! IT'S A TWISTER!!!" I blew off.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 4: Travers town.

Everyone: HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Lyra (walkes out in a turkey suit): Gobble Gobble. (walks out)

A/N: I skip… a lot…

"Meah! Ack!"

My eyes shot open and I saw Pluto (yeah the dog) licking my face."What the hell?" I sat up and looked around. Blurry. I hit myself on the head a few times and saw clearer.

"AW MAN THEY TOOK MY FRIGGING KIDNEY!!!"

I decided to look around and did my version of Behind those hazel eyes by Kelly Clarkson as I walked around. "Here I am once again. I'm stuck into Travers town oh crap I wanted to beat Katie Ashton at Pooooker…. Aw damn it I messed it up." So after beating several heartless and getting some post cards, something finally happened and I got drawled into a battle with Squ- I mean… Leon.

I tripped on someone's shoe.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" I said as I looked up at the person I tripped on. "Hey, I know you. You're Squall Leonheart from Final Fantasy VIII!"

"It's Leon." He said.

"Yeah. Whatever. I have one question."

"Sure go ahead."

" Leon, your such a wuss! Why don't you change your name back to Squall?!" That how it really all began.

MORTAL KOMBAT COMBAT TIME!!!

"Hot sauce!" I started out with.

"Sexual harassment!"

"Law suit law suit!"

"Stapler!"

"Post it!"

"Letter opener!" He made a swift scar right under my eye and I was knocked unconscious. Well you would.

"Hey I think she's waking up!"

I opened my eyes and yawned. Right where Leon struck me, there was a long thin scar. Kairi leaned over me.

"Aw it's just Kairi." I rolled over onto my right before actually realizing who it was. "AW CRAP IT KAIRI!!"

"I think there's something wrong with her Leon!" Kairi said. That's when I _really_ realized who it was.

"Story of my life." Leon and I said in unison.

" Leon, you shouldn't go around kidnapping little kids...we're gonna arrested one of these days..." Yuffie said.

Then, six heartless appeared out of nowhere.

" Leon, did you pay the bill collector?" Yuffie asked.

"Uh no. Aw shit."

"Aw hell."

"Aw shitty hell." I joined in. So we did the resonable thing: Cry and fight.

Then not much happened till Disney came flying.

"And Disney came flying at the speed of sound to show you how it all began." I said. And they landed, on me. The Keyblade fell out of my hands. "Next time… defiantly weather report crack!" I said.

"The key!" The two on top of me shouted. But I ignored then, got up, grabbed the Keyblade, brushed some dirt off me, and walked on my merry little way.

"Wait, aren't I forgetting something?" I thought and turned around. It came to me like (flashbacks again) …never mind. "Three, two, one-" Suddenly, parts of armor fall from the sky and form into a huge enemy! But I seemed to ignore it like I saw it everyday, since I've played the game 12 (Author: 10) 10 times. With a sigh, I grabbed the Keyblade and put on that stupid annoying attack face.

"HI DESTINY! I'VE BEEN TALKING TO YOU'RE FRINED DUTY! HE SAYS VERY BAD THINGS ABOUT YOU!!!" I shouted and leaped in. Some music from FF7 or 8 started playing. (Lyra: Whoa hold up. FF? We might as well play Banana phone!) …Now Banana Phone started playing. (Lyra: Thank you.)

Every time on of the arms, legs, or body parts disappeared, HP balls came out, plus Donald kept on using potions, so we managed to defeat it easily. It was about a minute (Author: and 14 seconds) later when we finally defeated it. "Well that was pretty easy." I said, chipmunk. "Not again!" (Lyra: Who left this idiot at the controls?!! Author: Don't worry Lyra; it'll go away when you get that munny… at least I think…)

I looked at my watch. It had a picture of Link in it with his sword and shield as the minute and hour hands. I smiled and nodded, knowing what exactly happened next.

(Lyra: What comes next? Author: skims through first KH manga um… you go to Squ- Leon: mad face Author: Um, Leon, for 100 munny. Lyra: Why can't we just say money? Author: Part of the game. Lyra: I hate math.)

"They too have been seeking the wielder of the Keyblade." Squ- I mean Leon said.

"I've noticed." I replied. "After all, first thing they said after they fell on me was 'The key!' And in case any of you've noticed, WE SOUND LIKE FRIGGING DUCKS!!!"

"Hey it's not my fault that the person got the things on chipmunk!" Yuffie said, chipmunk as well. Then they all broke out into a fight, most of it I couldn't understand since it was chipmunk.

(Lyra: Yeeeeeeeeahhhhh… ok, I think you've had enough chipmunk for today, so we're gonna do the rest of the scene in- takes out sock puppets Sock puppets. Author: Aw man this is gonna be worse then when I took on Hidden cloud thing with my Hidden Mist Jutsu! flashback starts Wait that isn't mine! Diamonddeaths Naruto Ninja Tactics. Katie: That's sad. Yuffie: Aren't you suppose to be dead!? Katie: Yeah but they don't know that. Lyra: Ok…. Right…. So eventually I join up with Donald and Goofy, mostly because I had nothing better to do. ONTO THE STORY!!!)

Lyra: being chased OMG I'M NOT A TURKEY YOU STUPID MOB!!!!

Author: That _is _a stupid mob.

Katie: Pumkin pie?

Everyone: YES!!!!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Lyra in Wonderland

A/N: Ok, sorry for the _loooooooooooooooong _wait for a new chapter, but my computer's been screwing up. And while it was screwing up, it deleted all my documents.

So sorry! So here's a little happy Christmas/New Year/Valentines/St. Patricks/Easter/Birthday/Mermorial day/ last day of school day.

"We're here!" Donald announced.

"Yay." I said sarcastically and started getting out.

"Careful!" Goofy shouted.

"Don't jump out to hastily. Look left…then right…"

"How about down?" I said, looking down. The two Disney characters fell about a few stories. "CANNONBALL!" I shouted, jumped and jumped down.

"Ow…" I groaned when I landed.

"How come we always land-"

"OH MY FURES AND WHISKERS!" Oh my God, that's the lamest thing I've ever heard.

"Holy crap!"

"I'M LATE I'M LATE I'M LATE!" A white rabbit carrying a pocket watch ran next to us and stepped on Donald's head.

"Haha!"

"Let's follow him!" Donald said.

"Now what did the poor rabbit do to you?" I asked.

"Oh dear, I'm here! I should be there!"

"Over here!" I shouted. We ran into the bizarre room. "Or not."

"How'd he get so small?" Donald asked. "This door's tiny."

"No, you're just too big." The door said. I tried to act natural.

"Then how can you get it?" I asked.

"Take that medicine and go through." The door said.

"Kay."

I walked over to the table and grabbed the shrinking medicine. Donald and Goofy just stared.

"What?" I asked. "Mmm…we'd better take this too." I said, grabbing the…der…biggening medicine. "Just in case." I stuffed it into my pocket, drank it, and shrank to about 13 inches. I've always liked the number 13. It's the number for Organization members, Voldemort's wand measure (and a half)…I just realized I'm a dork…

Well, the growing potion was too big for me, so (with much strength) I pulled it out and left it on the floor. I can tell you a long story about betrayal, love, passion, and trust, but this is my story: The door fell asleep; I drank the biggening potion, broke a bed, shrank, and walked into Queen's court.

"COURT IS NOW IN SESSION!" I've always hated jury duty…lol…duty… "The girl is the culprit. There's no doubt about. And you know why...? BECAUSE I SAID SO! THAT'S WHY!"

"This is completely unfair! I've done nothing wrong!" And then I kinda dosed off…

"FOR THE CRIME OF ATTEMPED THEFT OF MY HEART!"

"Excuse me!" I shouted. Everyone turned around. Damn. "Um…I need the stamp for my passport."

"Who are you?! How dare in interfere with my court!"

"My name is Lyra…Lyra Rodgers…and that's Donald, and that's Goofy." I pointed to my party members. "But we know who the real culprit is. But first, we need a stamp for a passport."

"Lyra you idiot!" Donald shouted at me. The first of many… (Lyra: sighs)

"Have you any proof?"

I handed her my passport.

"_Other _proof?"

"No, but I-"

"Very well then. Bring me proof of her innocence, or it's off with _ALL _your heads!"

Now I've always wanted a story where it isn't just about stupid jokes, a duck, a giant key, and a ship named Emily, but one where it helps people. So here are my words of wisdom on evidence:

Clue #1: Antenna

Head down the path until you find three large mushrooms that are grouped together. Jump atop the middle mushroom, and then to the green leaf support on the right. Examine the box and you'll find the Antenna.

Clue #2: Stench

Enter the Bizarre Room via the side of the tree to reach another box that contains the Stench.

Clue #3: Footprints

Lying in the corner is a box holding the Footprints.

Clue #4: Claw Marks

You will land on a faucet above an urn engraved in the floor. Now jump to the nearby cupboard to find a box holding the Claw Marks.

But in reality, you just need one piece. So I presented my evidence to the Queen. Apperently she had evidence too.

"Checking all of them would be a waste of time…pick one!" She ordered.

"What!?" I shouted. No matter which one you pick, the only thing it will do is take away party members. No Donald. No Goofy. No party to begin with.

Fortunately and unfortunately, I got a full party. Obi Wan and Harry appeared on my shoulders once again to do a little background music.

_They call me the Dark Lord Voldemort _

_I'm a sucker for evil, of any sort_

_As long as I get to zap my foes away. _

_Oh boy I love this magic spell I can send my enemies straight to hell _

_With just one blast I do it everyday. _

_Avada Kedavra _

_Avada Kedavra _

_Avada Kedavra _

_It just rolls off the tongue _

_Avada Kedavra _

_Avada Kedavra _

_Avada Kedavra _

_Killing people's never been this much fun._

(Katie: Dude, that's like, so uncool. We could get sued. Riku: Yeah, I don't wanna get sued for everything I have! Lyra: Do you even own anything?)

We ran into the bizarre room.

"Whew." I said. At home, I could never beat that boss. It was a disability. Katie normally did Wonderland. But still, this was real life I was dealing with. And if in all this commotion I ever get home, I'm rubbing it in Katie's face.

"Are you prepared for the worst?" I looked up and saw the Cheshire cat and a big ass heartless. "If not, too bad!"

Boss Name: Trickmaster

HP: 600 EXP: 150 ITEM: Ifrit's Horn

So this boss is somewhat technical. Jump onto the table (or when the evil Trickmaster takes that away just use the chair.) and jump off. Now while you in the air, attack the Trickmaster as best you can. Doing this will eventually stun the Trickmaster, giving you an opportunity to strike from the ground. Rinse and repeat.

…Oh yeah! Try not to use Fire. Needless to say, he has these sticks…they kinda catch on fire…well, there is a fire place, so they will catch on fire every once in a while.

"What is it? What's going on?" Our attention turned from our brilliant (Lyra: No one says that anymore. Except Brits. But it's a perfectly good word! Author: Uh-huh…) victory to the doorknob. "Such a racket. How is a doorknob supposed to get any sleep?"

"How can you sleep when we're trying to…" Donald shouted. Dork…

The doorknob yawned and the keyhole was right there. Oooh shiny. I sealed the keyhole and stuff…happened…THE END!!

A/N: Yeah, three pages aren't by best, but I'm just too lazy to do anything else. Just be glad I did this. And the Traverse town chappie wasn't by best either, but I was too lazy to do any re-writing, but it's not like anyone will sue me. Yeah, like that'll happe-what? Oh right…So screw you eCZi. By the way, MSTTTT (My summer trip to Traverse Town) is being written as I type. She dumped writing on me again! XD

-The Funny one 


End file.
